Wow, it’s been quite some time since I’ve written. I was out of town for over two weeks for the Holiday season, so things were just hectic. This is honestly one of the first days I have had where I can sit down and really write– I’ve been back for some time, but the apartment really needed a good once-over, and I am STILL catching up on dishes. All the while, my blog has been at the back of my mind, with a few things I’d like to talk about.
I know that around the Fat Acceptance blogs, New Year’s Resolutions are not a popular concept. I know that I can barely make it through January with a sound mind, what with all the weight loss ads. It’s gotten to the point that I have not watched TV for the past two weeks. For the most part, I find the resolutions many people make to be self-damaging and almost doomed to failure. People pledge to lose ten pounds, or to eat only salads, or what have you– why? Most of the time, it feels like, the reason is so they can be considered more attractive, or that losing those ten pounds will fix their lives. Fueled with post-holiday overindulgence, they sulk in their leafy greens at the company lunch table, saying things like, “Oh, I was sooooo baaaad at Christmas!”
Why do we do this to ourselves? If people (women especially) were not constantly denying themselves things or foods they loved, perhaps they would not go so incredibly overboard on the pumpkin pie. Actually, even if they DO have three slices of pie, the world is not going to end. It may be a common sentiment, but I really feel that women as a whole could contribute so much more were they not bogged down with the pressure to diet and have a svelte little physique.
This all brings me to my resolutions. Yes, I make them and I think the right KINDS of resolutions are not harmful. I think resolutions that will truly better your soul or health (and no, I don’t mean “UR FAT UR GON’ DIE” health) are a great thing. As far as health and what I mean by that, n example would be a diabetic pledging to test their blood sugar regularly to better manage it. People who pledge to donate time to charities are also making good resolutions. My resolutions? Well, they’re small ones. I would love to be in a position where I could be taking the time to give to charity, but right now, I AM the charity, I think. My first huge resolution is to find a job. I have decided to redouble my efforts, overhaul my resume and go door-to-door if I have to. It’s been just over five months since I’ve moved up here, and the outlook is still bleak. I’ve been fighting depression about it– it’s been getting harder to even apply for jobs on the rare occasion I see them, because I feel like I’ll just get rejected. I have resolved to not let this get me down, and to keep on keepin’ on.
My second resolution is somewhat related to the first. I’m trying to take better care of myself. I tend to get angry about a lot of small things, which is probably not too good for me. I’ve never been able to figure out if getting angry about smaller things has been a decent way to vent my anger, and thus making me less angry overall, or if I’m just stressing myself out for no reason. I have always been somewhat of an angry person. I get pretty bad road rage at certain things, and I’ll generally swear if I drop something. So, I’m going to make a conscious effort to control my anger more. Deep breaths, you know. I’ve also decided to finally bite the bullet and go back to the gym. I think the lowered level of physical activity has made me more jumpy, and I find myself itching to go out and do something. Lastly, I’m trying to eat more veggies and fruit. That one should be obvious. I’m very tired of almost completely depending on multivitamins.
So, here’s to 2009 being a good year for everyone.